2022 Fic Commentary

[leomoonwonu]

commentary on Auber_Gine_Dreams 2022

 

I will also be including fics from the end of 2021 

 

 

 

 

title: Think I’d Know Better (Woncheol)

word count: 5028

commentary:  Like I said in the author’s note, in a perfect world this is like 50k, fully realized with the end being Wonwoo and Seungcheol leaving the country (only Jihoon knows where they are). This is the first time I’ve written an organized crime AU and tbh it was really fun! I’d like to do another one some day. Thinking about this AU too long makes my brain into soup and then in 2022 I watched Kinnporsche so you can imagine how I’m doing. 

 

a line i loved: “Doesn’t everyone say it?"

 

 

 

 

title: The Way You Make Me Out to Be (Meanie)

word count: 1593

commentary:  17hols!! What a blast this was! I really really enjoyed writing for it and I plan to again this year. Wren got me soooo many times. Our brains are incredibly in sync right now. This is just my General Meanie Thesis with the Bittersweet performance added in. I like writing Meanie even if I’m just writing the same thing over and over. To me, they’re a fascinating rpf pair, so much growing and changing and like, I think it is very obvious at any given time how they feel about each other. Every idolverse Mingyu is just Leesa projects being a left handed Aries. Sorry for seeing and perceiving the truth I guess. 

a line i loved: Everything between them is like water and fire. Like a hurricane. Like a torrential downpour and getting struck by lightning. Mingyu stands in the wreckage and cradles his heart in his hands. The pain feels like proof. You loved. You survived. At least Wonwoo can’t take that away from him.

 

 

 

 

 

title: This Whole Damn City Thinks it Needs You (Woncheol)

word count: 1453

commentary: Summer of Like. The scene of the crime. Casting Wonwoo as Mikey Way is such typical Me behavior. Thankfully all my bandom mutuals get it. The problem with bandom is that everything happened. And not only did it happen, but everyone got on their fucking livejournals and wrote about it. Another 17hols offering that I had tons of fun writing!!

a line i loved:  I wish you were my bass, Seungcheol says a few weeks later, typed in black letters on his journal. Not just my friend. In the picture posted above it, Seungcheol is laying on the stage, hips canted up against his instrument.

 

 

 

 

title: Return to Center (Wonhui)

word count: 1309

commentary: I have a playlist that’s basically “when you’re homesick and you want to go home but you can never go home but you always have to go home”. It’s something I think about a lot. I’ve lived in three states over the course of my life, and while that’s not a lot in the grand scheme of things, it leaves me really unsure about what exactly home is. Is it the place I was born? Is it the place I grew up, graduated high school and university? Is it where I’m living now? 

This was written for the last round of 17hols, where the last line of the fic is the prompt. Not to be constantly gushing about 17hols it was just t_t a really good time!! I’m excited to do it again this year.

 

a line i loved:  Maybe this is the place that made him, the gap between their mouths, the warmth of their hands, the solid press of their bodies.

 

 

 

 

title: The One With the Ghosts  (Woncheolgyu)

word count: 8238

commentary: I’ve owed Riley this fic since what, 2020? I’m glad I finally got it finished. It’s always fun when my friends let me lean into horror elements. While I think my original plan for this fic was darker, I’m happy with the way it turned out. I just think magic and witchcraft are soooo fun to write about!! I forgot how absolutely unhinged the threesome in this fic is. Op what is wrong with you. 

 

a line i loved: Seungcheol is familiar with loneliness. Jeonghan was more a ghost than anything before he sat Seungcheol down in their sunny kitchen and broke it off. The ghost of him still clings to Seungcheol, to the things they split down the middle when Seungcheol moved out. 

This is the duvet that Jeonghan picked out, Seungcheol thinks as he reaches for Wonwoo in the dark. He is the warmest he has ever felt, moving closer in his sleep to tangle their bodies together. 

 

 

 

 

title: Give Me All You Got (JJP)

word count: 7550

commentary: The original title of this google doc was JJP reverse Capri, with the Vibes being something like what if Laurent was the Captive Prince instead. Clearly that’s uh, not what I wrote, but I simply cannot express how this fic makes me feel. Usually it takes me a while to re-read a fic and be like wow op you get it. This fic is not like that. I’ve probably read it 5 times this year since it’s been posted. This makes me feel like taxidermy fox dot jpg and I cannot really explain why that is. It’s just LSDFJSLDKFJSDLFJSDLKFJ you know? Do you ever hate someone and then realize that you love them? Do you ever loop The Light Behind Your Eyes for two days and go into a trance and come out with this? It’s pretty popular as far as my JJP fics go, but I just think out of anything I’ve written this year, this is the one people should be reading.

a line i loved: “You and your family,” Jinyoung says. He takes a breath. “Your kingdom has done nothing but teach me. But you are wrong, Your Highness. Sometimes death is a mercy. Sometimes you are granted a quick one, as painless as possible.”

It is only when Jaebum steps closer that Jinyoung considers he will die for this. One small slip is all it takes. How can he be expected to fulfill his duty, to protect the Prince, when just moments ago his hands were leaving bruises? Jaebum takes a step forward and Jinyoung takes a step back. The room is large, but eventually Jinyoung will hit something. Another step, another. Jinyoung kneels, eyes on Jaebum’s feet, before he hits a dead end. If he is to die, he will have as much say as he can.

“Is that what you want, Jinyoung? A quick, painless death?” Jinyoung watches as Jaebum joins him on the floor. It seems slower than it should, like Jaebum wants him to really see it. “Do you want to be free?”

 

 

 

 

title: First to Bite (Jihan)

word count: 2923

commentary: Beloved Daphne’s fic giveaway request! It was nice to go back into the ghoul-verse (some day we will get the continuation started). I got to have the mortifying conversation of like, kagune use in sex (it’s about the Idea babey it’s about the Thought the IMPLICATION). Wow we should really start a drinking game and call it “how many times does Leesa use a variation of that quote from Incubus Dreams”. Really I had a good time in here. The theme of love as eating and being eaten T_T. 

 

a line i loved: “I thought you’d want something a little more…human,” Jeonghan says. There’s something in his voice that Joshua can’t place. “I wondered for a long time if I’d be able to give that to you if you asked.”

 

 

 

 

title: The Mess You Made (Jeongchan)

word count: 929

commentary: This is a 17hols fill that I wasn’t going to put on ao3. For one, it’s short. I told myself I’d have to flesh it out before I could. And then I just said whatever and posted it anyway. Someday I’d like to write a Fleshed Out Jeongchan. I certainly have Thoughts and Ideas that are touched on here that I’d like to really dig into. Did I write a single fucking prompt for 17hols that wasn’t Wren’s like sldkfjsldksdlfksd Unfortunately for all of us the majority of my maknae Theses do hinge on the idea of “you made me like this” and we just have to live like that. 

 

a line i loved: “You’re the worst,” Jeonghan says. There’s a fond kind of smile on his face. “Come here.”

This is what you made me, Chan thinks but doesn’t say. 

 

 

 

title: Dead Weight (WoncheolJun, Wonwoo/Seonghwa)

word count: 32766

commentary: WHITE NOISE THREE EVERYONE WE DID IT!!! I did a pretty hefty time skip (about 18 months), and that was because I was afraid the personalities of my characters would be too different because I haven’t written in this AU since 2019. Also like, the things I was interested in focusing on back then are not necessarily the same things I like focusing on now. So I figured the time skip was the best solution. I think everyone knows this already, but originally this was outlined to be a Monsta X fic, where Wonwoo was going to hook up with Kihyun. In the end, I went with Ateez (I did also outline a skz version but it didn’t feel right). It was really good to revisit my little AU and develop everyone’s characters some more!!!I hope this is good. I love this universe so much T_T

a line i loved: He looked between the two of them. He thought about ruthlessness. He thought about humanity. What was a monstrous act, really? Sometimes love was monstrous. He knew the men in his bed would do anything for him. 

Maybe his display of power proved the same was true for him.

 

 

 

 

title: Whatever You Want (Soonhoon)

word count: 1393

commentary:  Maybe 5 people in the whole world know that this was previously uploaded to ao3 in a ficlet/drabble dump for White Noise AU. There were like 5 other ones? I had this up in 2019 and at some point decided to delete it. Anyway, the people were asking me for more Soonhoon so I cleaned this up and here we are. 

a line i loved:  “You’re still bleeding,” Jihoon said when he couldn’t take the silence anymore. “You’re not healing. Why?”

Soonyoung laughed. Blood poured out of the corners of his mouth.

“Haven’t fed. Can’t heal.”

Of course.

Of course Soonyoung would come here and expect Jihoon to fix him. He owed Soonyoung, that much was true, but that didn’t mean he wanted to. 

 

 

 

title: Heard You Saw You Felt You Gave You (Wonhui)

word count: 7617

Commentary: Imagine if I had written this fic AFTER listening to Preacher’s Daughter. Clearly the name of the fic is from Ptolemaea, but I do think about this often. Do you ever write a fic where the side character is so sexy you HAVE to give him his own fic? My self indulgent beloved Palo Santo, and now we have Wonwoo too!! It did feel a little prophetic when Jun dropped limbo (once again this fic would be so much worse if it came out before I wrote this). There are a lot of fun ideas in here (like demons being witches, love that!!) I felt a little silly writing this for Wonufest considering it was very obvious who wrote it and like, what AU this was. I even had a commenter mention it! 

 

a line i loved: Minghao slams into him so hard Wonwoo sees stars. There is something wrong with you, Minghao refuses to say. He doesn’t have to. Wonwoo knows. His Coven knew, too. Wonwoo’s magic sparked to life and now it is eating away at him no matter how much or how little of it he uses. 

Wonwoo bites down on his forearm when he comes. The taste of his skin, tainted from magic, lingers in his mouth long after Minghao leaves his apartment. 

 

 

 

 

title: Enough of You To (Svt 95s)

word count: 4614

commentary: Wren won my fic giveaway and when I said they could pick my song and pairing for emofest, we ended up with this. But Leesa, isn’t this exactly the same as what you wrote last time? Consider that my theses are correct I have no choice but to write what I see and perceive. I was worried, as I usually am, that this was going to be too messy and convoluted (part of the reason I tagged this fic the way I did was because I’ve had a few commenters this year mention that certain poly or ot3 pairings were unwanted or in some way untagged/unexpected….they weren’t btw!!) but my target audience was pleased and that’s all that matters. Hate it for the people who are new to ao3 user auberginedreams but my fics are always like this. 

Loved getting to touch on Battle Trip!! As I’ve said before, my favorite kind of idolverse fics are ones that feel true, and I hope that’s how this came across. 

Maybe some people reading this won’t know this, but I got married this year!! I did a lot of ring/marriage talk in this fic and that’s a big part of why. 

 

a line i loved: When it comes to the group, everything falls into place easily. It’s what Seungcheol imagines marriage to be. Love that’s hard-fought, years of comfort stacked into knowing exactly how the other person feels. Knowing that you’d do anything for them, and they for you.

But when it comes to feelings, to the way Jeonghan’s mouth feels on his, the way his heart feels too big and too small all at once, Seungcheol is reaching through the dark, desperate to find a hand to anchor him.

 

 

 

 

title: Lost Cause/Long Shot (NineMill)

word count: 5555

commentary: I was considering writing two fics for emofest again, I watched the Sixteen Candles mv, and I said sure why not. This is not the first ooo fic I though I would publish, but I had a lot of fun writing it!! My friend Iris came to visit me in February, which is like Genuinely the worst month to come to my state. We basically holed up in my apartment for a week and spent 72 hours consuming ooo content and now I’m lyon forever. If you’re familiar with the group, I hope you give this a read <3 Compared to my usual vampire lore, I took the painful transformation from Miss Rice! 

Once again Preacher’s Daughter creeps into my fics. God loves you but not enough to save you babey!!! 

 

a line i loved: There’s another Wookjin standing next to him, or maybe he’s cracked from the pain. His eyes are pitch black. When he opens his mouth, there are rows and rows of sharp teeth. He grins and bites into his own wrist, tearing gleefully at the flesh until blood pours to the floor. He holds it out to Wookjin. An offering. 

Wookjin’s entire body spasms, pain so intense he can't even breathe. The other Wookjin’s teeth are nearly black with blood. He raises his eyebrows in clear mock concern, shaking his wrist so hard drops of blood fleck across Wookjin’s face. It's hot. Is this real?

The Wookjin in front of him shakes his head in disappointment, bringing his ruined wrist to his mouth. He licks away the blood like he's putting on a show, slow and lazy, eyes locked with his. 

“What do you want from me?” Wookjin asks. His throat burns. He's so thirsty. “Who are you?”

The other Wookjin grins. The wound on his wrist is already healed. He points to Wookjin's wrist.

Through the chains he feels it, searing, wet, flesh ripped apart, blood dripping from the table to the floor.

He screams himself awake, shaking in the dark.

 

 

  

 

 

 

Fics I plan to post by the end of 2022

 

title/concept: Paris Fic

pairing: Hyunjjp (end game JJP, Hyunlix)

epigraph/snippet: “Something like that,” he answers. “He’s being a good hyung, for once.”

Felix laughs, nudging him with his elbow. “Is that what they’re calling it these days?”

It feels a little too good to be true. Hyunjin wants to ask him if he’s okay. He’s afraid of what the answer might be. 

“There’s still something I have to do,” Hyunjin says. “It’s what I came here for.”

“What happens after that?” Felix asks.

The lights from the bar make him almost candlelit. Dark hair and freckles and the soft shape of his mouth. Hyunjin wonders if he’ll ever be able to kiss Felix again. 

It shouldn’t matter. 

It does matter. 

 

 

additional notes: This fic is in the hands of my Trusted Sickos, and once I have the green light I will be posting this absolutely deranged piece of writing. This is written non-linear, with past/present alternating. What if the lyricist of your favorite band was also your neighbor, and what if you graduated university and followed said band to Paris?

It’s been a rough year for me writing wise. I’ve put out not even half of the previous years word count. As much as interaction doesn’t matter it like, kind of does matter. It’s so strange because I haven’t had a drop in my hits/kudos/etc (I guess I’m getting fewer comments if I had to pick something??) but people simply don’t talk to me about my writing. I certainly don’t want the weird/invasive messages some of my writing friends get, but it also makes it feel like I’m yelling at the wall. I’m trying to be kind to myself, take it slow and write the things I want to write when I feel like writing them, but I’ve definitely felt very unmotivated this year.